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I've Never Been An Old Man: What It's Like If You Plan To Age, by Don Larsen
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Don learned his ABCs and 123s in his first childhood.
Now in the second, he is learning his acronyms, HMO, ER, 911, EKG, IV and others as JJL's health deteriorates following their fifty-fourth anniversary. She often blacks out and falls and Don becomes a full time caregiver. With the aid of Self, Don's invisible conscience sitting on his shoulder, he relates the problems, interesting events and people as well as some hallelujahs. The subject is not funny but Don tells it similar to the way Chineese cook their meat with opposites--sweet and sour--only Don tells it with pain and laughs, humor and aches, falls and hallelujahs. His characters include his Koffe Kats, Latte., Mocha and Java, the rest homes Sergeant Sue, several of JJL's wacky roommates and interesting happenings. One chapter is My JJL is MIA at the HMO. Another is: I can't call 911 and the other thirty-five chapter titles are equally interesting.
While Jacquie has seven ER visits and five hospitalizations in six months Don also has two 911 ambulance rides. The HMO has not found a cause for JJL's problems. On Christmas morning the doctor comes to JJL's room and informs the couple they should separate. She should go to a rest home and Don should realize he is no longer able to be a sole caregiver.
Three months later after another hospitalization it is discovered she has atrophying of the right frontal lobe of her brain, a type of Dementia. Learning that the disease is not curable and a relative of Alzheimer's leaves both Don and Self dazed.
Using a positive attitude and putting a upward spin on happenings, Don makes the most of the problems coming his way. The resulting book is a humorous treatment of serious conditions and incidents. While being far from romantic it is a book with large doses of love and caring.
- Sales Rank: #4568872 in Books
- Brand: Brand: Active Books
- Published on: 2004-04
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: .65" h x 6.20" w x 9.06" l,
- Binding: Paperback
- 290 pages
- Used Book in Good Condition
Review
Don showss how to conquer the stress of caregiving with humor. The book is upbeat in spite bumps. Wit and love between the chuckholes in the road of life helped the couple. The reader can benefit from his story. --Dr. Grace Devenich
"
While many find aging a drag, Don finds humor, fullfillment and enjoyment in his seond childhood. Caring for his ailing wife is stressful, but love and acomplishment is ever present. --Penny Warner Author
With humor and insight, Don teaches about the benefits of love and pets in later years of life. He also teaches about the ABC's of IVs and HMOs
--Borders San Ramon
Don discusses growing old with humor, insight and the benefits of close relationships. He then stresses the value of participation-not just toleration-in the process of aging. --Barnes & Noble Walnut Creek
A must read for baby boomers and seniors. You will be glad you did. -- Kathy Bosworth, Denise's Pieces Book Reviews 3/04
Strives to treat stress humorously, challenging even unhealthy citizens to remain lighthearted. Shares memories of 54-years of happy marriage. -- Tri Valley Herald 2/08/04
The author's likable personality really comes through. His writing is clear and full of engaging anecdotes and practical advice. -- Writer's Digest 11th annual International self Published Book Awards 5/04
From the Author
JJL, my wife, and I were aging quite nicely until one ten on the last sunday of June. Then the aging speedometer began racing faster. We had just finished our fifty-fourth anniversry brunch at the Clairmont Hotel whixh looks over the San Francisco Bay and the Golden Gate. As we stepped out into the sunshine, JJL said," Don, get the car and pick me up here. I'm not feeling well." Walking to the car I seemed to sense sprinkles raining on my otherwise happy day. As I buckeled her in, she stated, "Get me home quick!" I read into that message, "I 'm not interested in talking, just get me home." The forty minute ride in silacne and worry made the journey seem like two hours. At home I soon had her undressed and in bed where she immediately fell into a deep sleep. The rest of the silent afternnon was out of charactor with the morning. The slow evening clock caused my worry to increase. The next morning she was no better so it was a thirty mile trip to the emergency room for some evaqluative work. In total she traveled with me or the EMTs seven times in six months. She was not alone, I rode the ambulance three times with chest pains that were not in my by-passed heart but the result of stress.
The book tells of our ER and hospital experiences whether chuckholes in the routine, the high qauality of care, the humerous and even funny incidente including interesting roommates. It is told with both wit and humor as I tried to refrain from the negative to lessen its influenxc upon us. My favorite chapter heading is, "My JJL is MIA at the HMO, and that is only the first time she turned up on my missing persons list. Each visit did not solve her problems and it was only a few weeks or so untilshe needed to return. We used to not only be serious but joked, "Do we have enough gssto get to the ER?" She was worsening and I had to defer the Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners to family members. In face, at ten on Christmas morning Dr. Grant came into her room and stated she should go to a care home. Then looking at me said, "Mr.Larsen, I've looked at yor files and you are not able to be a sole care-giver.
Part Two relates to her care home and Sgt.Sue, the caregiver, an interesting setting for the recuperation that came after eight years. Neighbors tell me I improved also so we weathered our stormy weather and the rate of aging has again dropped to normal..
About the Author
Don was born in the late twenties in central Kansas and experienced the depression and dustbowl days. He later became a one-room schoolteacher before moving to California where he continued in education. He has always been interested in creative activities which included becoming a contractor to build two houses to teach his children how to use their hands, earning signature membership status in two nationally recognized art societies, establishing one of the first independent house inspection companies in Northern California, a company his son still operates. Upon retiring from his last elementary principalship Don began writing which led to establishing Active Books and publishing the first of his several manuscripts.
Most helpful customer reviews
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful.
Great Read!
By K. Bosworth
I'VE NEVER BEEN AN OLD MAN is a must read for baby boomers and seniors. New author, Don Larsen, has written a non-fictional account of his personal triumphs and setbacks as he enters a new phase of his life; an elderly man caring for his ailing wife. This is much more than a man relaying his experiences as a caregiver. Mr. Larsen has created a humnorous, honest approach to handling what life is throwing his way.
Readers will be treated to an attitude that we should all try to emulate. Mr. Larsen has a zest for life that leaves me in awe, as well as exhausted. With his personal philisophy being, "I believe an active mind and body retards the aging process", it is obvious that being in his late 70's is not a reason to give up and sit in a rocker.
Under the humor and the day-to-day obstacles in his life, there is a moving love story that emerges quietly. After being married for well over 50 years, his beloved wife Jacquie has numerous health problems as well as impending dementia. They take showers together so he can hold her, protect her from falling, and be by her side. Those are certainly not the reasons they might have showered together many years before. This might not be the love carried out as a physical act, but it is love at its most pure. It was a poignant and moving scene that brought tears to my eyes.
I highly recommend this book for anyone that needs a reality check on aging. If you are a senior that can't get motivated or if you are a boomer with parents that can't get involved in life, this book is for you! This book might just be the inspiration to get up, get out, and live life to the fullest. I found it to be an enjoyable read from cover to cover. Don't wait until your "golden years" to enjoy the fruits of your labor....enjoy them NOW. If you are in your golden years, take a page from Mr. Larsen's book and find ways to stay active. "Get in; buckle your seat belt, and enjoy some of his golden years, his cats, health misfortunes, and anything else crossing the highway of his life." You will be glad you did.
(Reviewed for Denise's Pieces Book Reviews)
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
This is worth a read
By N. Riggins-Hume
Don details the events of his life beginning with his 54th anniversary. His wife, JJL, is becoming ill, and he is drawn into the life of a caregiver. He describes the changes in their relationship, and the things that remain the same. They have two cats, Latte and Mocha. Latte is JJL's constant companion, and Mocha is Don's. Don uses humor as he discusses JJL's need to monitor him at all times. He and she are on different sleep cycles, and she complains when he sleeps through the TV shows that she watches at night. Yet she sleeps later in the morning than he does. He talks about the difficulty of maintaining medication supplies for them both. And a constant theme throughout the book is how much having Latte and Mocha improve both their lives.
Don uses dialog by referring to "Self", his internal companion. He points out the importance of having external sources of socialization and support as JJL's health continues to deteriorate. He unflinchingly describes the negative impact stress has on his own health. Yet, each chapter he finds something to say "Hallelujah" about.
When JJL finally needs to be in an assisted living home, Don details the search for one, and the impact on them both as she moves. Once relieved of the intense burden of caring for his wife, he is able to return to the husband role he obviously cherishes. His deep love for JJL permeates every line of the book, and shows in the care he takes of her.
I've Never Been an Old Man is amusing, touching and enjoyable reading. I recommend it to others who are interested in aging and caregiving.
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
A narrative of the trials and travails of growing old
By Midwest Book Review
I've Never Been an Old Man: What It's Like if You Plan to Age is an engaging first-person narrative of the trials and travails of growing old. While not a self-help book per se, readers will almost certainly glean insight in coping with the difficulties that come with loss of faculties, and the long-term value of actively embracing aging rather than simply tolerating it. Chapters speak of doctor's office fiascos, lifelong milestones, "cat husbandry with no degree" and more. A chuckle-inducing and emotionally uplifting as well as practical-eyed tour de force of the golden years of life.
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